Plants Panic and Paranoia 2.0

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There's nothing here!

Theme images by Michael Elkan

Mitch (Big Mulch Command): Mitch isn’t real but the shit he says is. He’s my AI generated alter ego: built for privacy, raised on sarcasm, and emotionally weathered like a porch chair in a hurricane. He’s got my facial features, my trauma (definitely), and none of my social anxiety. Mitch exists so I can tell the truth without dragging my real name through the mulch. He says what I’ve lived, with more plaid, fewer panic attacks, and better lighting. He’s not a lifestyle icon. He’s a grief soaked, boundary setting, dirt-under the nails unlicensed garden therapist who smells like sandalwood and regret. So yeah, he’s AI generated. But the emotions? The stories? The raw, unfiltered chaos of healing? That’s all me. Mitch just delivers it with a backwards cap and a shovel full of metaphors. If you’re here for truth, growth, and a little emotional composting, you’re in the right garden. Welcome Home!